December 2022 Mark Kaye's Kayetriot's Conspiracy Theories
Suspicious Sam
Couple years ago, I was at my mother-in-law’s and she has little blocks that says NOEL. Well, I thought I would play a trick on her. I didn’t like the name NOEL anyhow, but any rate, so I changed it to LEON. I just switched them around and I just thought that was so cool. I went all around my little town in Ohio and put this up and everybody disliked it so much that I got a buck shot right in the rear end and I was put on serious probation from Santa. (WIN)
Polar Bear Denier
Yes, Hannah is actually very smart with an IQ of 162. She has taken many days off telling us that she has gone to many exotic places around the country. But really, she’s meeting with Michelle Obama. We have evidence that she’s a Democrat. Michelle picked Hannah as V.P. and runs in 24. Because of Hannah’s vast popularity with the American people, they win election. After they are sworn in, Hannah announces that she is really a Republican and has dirt on Michelle. Michelle resigns in disgrace. Hannah is President. Hannah saves America.
Frank Spankin
Ok. Mark, I feel the reason you’re coming up here to Kentucky, it isn’t only just for the bourbon, Ok. You came up with a new game. And after all you guys get loosened up and back to your motel, since drinking and poker go together and so does cornhole, you’re going to have a new game called poker cornhole. (WIN)
Karen
Ok, Jay, you and Mark will probably understand this, you may have to explain it to Hannah for a bit because you have kids. So, my theory is the reason that they burned the cars at Hertz, they were done deliberately, of course, is because Joe Biden, like any other child that messes up their diaper, it overflows. He messed up all those cars and I’ve done this myself on my kids have had poddy accidents and say, “Oh my gosh. I got to burn those clothes.” And they did that to hide the fact that he had messed up all those cars. He gets excited when he travels, and stuff and he can’t contain it. (WIN)
Witness Protection Elvis
Why do our egg prices keep rising? I’ll tell you what I’m surmising. It’s those commie Chinese men buying up our hens and giving us a blue, blue, blue, blue, breakfast. (WIN)
Paradise 03
(Silence)
Dare Devil Dave
So, now that Mark and Jay were discussing the fact that they were getting a little bit sick and Hannah was miraculously out of the office once again, I believe that the virus has finally taken over. Mark and Jay will both fall ill enough that Hannah will be able to take over Mark’s vast radio empire, taking over his fortunes and fame and eventually skyrocketing herself to become the next Rush Limbaugh.
Truth And What It Is
The connection between Joe Biden and the Democratic party and China proceeded the release of covid. It was to unseat the President of the United States and to destroy the American economy and destabilize the world economy, allowing Russia to take advantage of Ukraine and the wheat market.
Paradise 03
(Silence)
Magnificent Pegan Beast
Do you truly believe, does anybody truly believe that these politicians are writing books and people are buying it or is this more politicians are writing books, and this is a way to launder money for them? Disgraced Cuomo, he made five million dollars on book sales. Who bought his book, seriously? You have Hussein Obama, what is it Obama Hussein, whatever his name is and the boss bearer, they have a failed show. (WIN)
Breakfast Taco
Alright, so I’m here to tell you the real secret meeting behind the bourbon trail. What Mark’s really cooking up is that he’s just trying to find and excuse to get up to Kentucky. He’s going to using the bourbon trail to get everybody sauced up, so they’re distracted, and they don’t notice him sneaking off. What he’s going to do is he going to go secretly buy property. The purpose of that is to establish residence where he is making preparations for a 2026 Republican Senate primary run to unseat Mitch McConnell. (WIN)
Putin Pootin
Alright, well I was just thinking that it’s not necessarily a secret saying, but you know, Damnit. I’m sorry. I’ve got thrown off. Here we go. I… Damnit. Goodbye. (He hung up the phone)
Dickens Cider
Ok. The reason for the plant, the nano plant in Arizona, and the reason that Biden did not want to go to the boarder while he was down there is that the plants are being put in to give everybody an implant that got the jab. Ok. Follow me here. If you got the jab, you get a nano nono implant which turns you AI. Ok. Most Democrats got the jab. So therefore, to make it a one-party tyrannical system, they’re going to put a chemical in our chem trails that rained down on us and kill all the Republicans that didn’t get the jab. (WIN)
Witness Protection Elvis
Twitter files dropped on Hunter’s laptop all we lens left behind. But fake new just finds cause for celebration. Children OD on drugs from chairman Xi. Feds reap trial after trial, as mainstream monkeys cover their eyes, mouths, and ears. (WIN)
Nancy Pelosi’s Whiskey Bottle
(Hung up)
Gold Digger Andy
Yesterday I was watching on the internet the Mark Kaye Show when suddenly it went off. I lost compete internet. I went to the TV to see if anything was going on. I could not get Xfinity TV. So, I went to call Xfinity. My phone, which is a Verizon phone was not working. So, I tried to call my wife and or on Jim, and the phone wouldn’t pick up for her. So, my conspiracy theory is this is a government trial to see if they can shut off communications because if people can not rise up to stop the government, we cannot defend ourselves. (lost connection) (WIN)
December 15th, 2022
Brandon
My conspiracy theory is with Dr. Fauci and the Wuhan lab and the covid-19, well just like any good weapon that’s out there like a bomb or a nuclear weapon or something like that, you got to have a delivery system. And with the delivery system it could be a rocket for delivering the bomb or something like that, an airplane to drop it and so with the Wuhan lab this covid-19 I believe they were developing it to put out something worse than the covid-19 is. This is actually like a delivery system for the thing to come later on. (WIN)
Florida Man
My conspiracy theory is about American Trivia Warrior. I think you and Jay have informants that go in Culhane’s Pub every Wednesday when Hannah does trivia and goes and gets the answers to the questions because some of those you guys just answer way too freakishly fast. You guys answer some of those questions way too freakishly fast, it’s unbelievable. (WIN)
Witness Protection Elvis
Oh, Democrats of Washington you’re hiding where your money comes from. You say you work for the little guy, but you really work for billionaire scum. Your biggest donor was Comrade Soros then funneler Sam Bankman-Fried. You pretended to subpoena Fried to testify then you had him rat trapped oversea. (WIN)
Goober
Lost connection
Mac And Cheese
So, the other day Jay wore a shirt that looked like gerrymandered counties. I think those counties secretly were real gerrymandered counties. So, all you have to do is match up the counties with the real ones and those are the ones that actually have voter fraud. So, all you have to do is look up those counties, solve the voter fraud, and then the issue is solved. So, I think Jay is on to something. (WIN)
Goober
So, back in the days of the bible when the angels fell and then they had relations with humans and so they believe that those babies became the giants, as in Goliath and six fingers, six toes, whatever. And so, my mother, who’s now ninety, believes that those giants live under the Vatican, and they will be released with the anti-Christ. (WIN)
Pug
My conspiracy theory has to do with the Hunter Biden laptop. I don’t think that that laptop ever got lost. I think that it was deliberately left. I think that it was deliberately found, and I think that all the business on there is deliberately going to be exposed but for the different reason. I think Hunter is tired of being the B*#@$. Hunter’s tired of being the person to do all those dirty deeds and I think that he’s sick of it. I think that he wants to expose all of it. I mean obviously him and his sister both were abused when they were children. (WIN)
Jar Head
Ok, so everybody’s up in ruse trying to figure out why in the world Trump did an NFA release and made it such a big deal. Trump knows that he lives in the heads of liberals. So, finally he has found a way to convince Robert Rice and Rob Reiner to pay him to live in their heads.
Mostly Dead Voter
New cell phones are sending out subliminal messages to trust Democrats, so those tinfoil hats are not going to work. The reason why the red wave did not happen is because of these messages. Florida is still experiencing the red wave because the cell phones were not as prevalent there. The messages only affect those with more developed brains and that is why one of my granddaughters threw my wife’s brand-new phone in the pool and why my other granddaughter threw the replacement into the tub, because they were too young to be controlled and recognized the danger. (WIN)
Elf Off The Shelf
Alright, the original conspiracy theorist, Jesus Christ himself was approached by the pharisees and Sadducees and they were going to stone a woman. He started writing in the sand and everybody dropped the accusation all of the sudden. Well, history is repeating itself because the J. sixth committee wanted to frame Donald Trump and subpoena him and they mysteriously dropped it because with Elon Musk, twitter files, and everything else that Trump has been saying on Truth Social, guess what’s gone away. The subpoena. So, history has repeated itself and we all know Donald Trump has more dirt on the Democrats. (WIN)
Duke
Ok, well the government wanting to push folks to a central bank digital currency, all of this hyperinflation and collapsing the dollar is not going to be enough. So, the kicker is they manufacture scarcity, it forces people to rationing, and then they can make the argument not only is this central currency going to be good for you but digitally we can stop hording and manage rationing at the register and that’s going to make it a lot more palpable for people not paying attention to say yeah, this central digital currency is a good idea. (WIN)
Henry
So, the poll that Elon Musk did to see whether he should replace himself with the CEO for twitter was just to see if there was false voting in there and to be able to prove that there was a wrong election done. That’s all.
Aristocles
Alright, Biden is leaving this border open for the influence of China and Russia so they can get a bunch of the people out of South America. That way they can get in there and take over and get into all the metal reserves and stuff like that that are waiting to be taken down there so they’re just rushing through us and just trying to get us to get all the people out of there so that they can take over that country and get all the metal rights. (WIN)
Witness Protection Elvis
Your sex at birth matters not says Rachael Levine, who fathered two kids and hopes we forgot and now wants to lose their mind. Less than one percent claim gender dysphoria of those most just changes their mind. Yet if you tell the truth the feds censor you while they play butcher to their lives. (WIN)
Uncle Bar
My conspiracy is that Donald Trump has already announced that he’s running for President. Ron DeSantis soon will announce that he is running for President. Everybody will attack Trump. Trump will keep attacking DeSantis. Everybody will attack Trump and while they are attacking Trump nobody will be attacking DeSantis and then Trump will back out and let DeSantis go run for President after he has absorbed the brunt of the criticism. (WIN)
C.J.
The reason why Hunter Biden’s art work sells for so much is the paint is made out of designer cocaine and he sells it all over the world clandestinely and it comes with a pre-used straw by Hunter Biden and it generates all kinds of money for the Democrat party but really the big draw is the special paint. The very special paint. And all they have to do is scrape it up and use one of the pre-used straws that are already used by Hunter. (WIN)