December 2023 Mark Kaye's Kayetriot's Conspiracy Theories
December 7th, 2023
Gruesome Newsom
Ok, this is a theory about how Governor Newsom becomes president of the United States. Now, we need to agree on a few things. First the power class in the Democratic party do not want a Biden – Harris ticket. They can’t dump Biden, but they can dump Harris and they’re going to move Newsom on the VP side of the ticket. Now let’s say Biden wins. Within two or three months of his presidency, he’s going to contract a very fatal virus and the CIA, and the FBI and the medical community will not know where he got it, how he got it, how to fix it. He will expire and Newsom will become president. (WIN)
Douglas C Niedermeyer
Men’s testosterone has been declining for decades. Some say it’s due to chemicals in the food supply while others say its poor food choices. These theories are wrong. The beginning of the decline was December 13th, 1989, the birth date of Taylor Swift. The constant barrage of idiotic songs that men are forced to listen to with no girlfriends are the cause of the mass testosterone decline. Right now, Travis Kelce is low T nosedive. If he continues dating her, he’ll be out of the NFL by next fall. If you hear Taylor Swift’s song, turn off the radio. Never, ever go to a concert. I could mean the end of your blood line. (WIN)
Metatron
Ok, rapper Tom McDonald is actually Mark Kaye’s love child. Here is the proof. Both born in Canada. Both love America and they actually look strikingly similar to each other and on top of that, the big conspiracy is that both of them are actually part of an elite super soldier program formed under the Kennedy administration to save America from the remnants of the empire. There you go. (WIN)
Angry Cat Lady
Alright, I hate to say this. There’s lots of things going on in the world and I love you guys but the main thing I want to say, I’m a Geologist, ok. Got mis portrayed of a masters. We’re going to have an earthquake probably in Florida, maybe, I doubt it, but it’s going to happen in California. I know you’re laughing but it’s a true fact. It’s a scientific fact. (WIN)
Big Paw
So, right before the end of the year, Biden’s going to send our greatest and best weapons to Zelensky and all of the sudden Putin will say hey, wait a minute. If you give me your weapons, I will stop the war and give you back your country. Putin gets our best weapons, the war is over, Biden wins. (WIN)
Ronan
Joe Biden isn’t actually that old. He has a TBI that he suffered on a top-secret mission. It was covered up by the Bin Laden Navy Seal raid. In reality it was Joe Biden leading the Joe Biden crime family on a raid at Corn Pops house. Bin Laden just happen to be there because they were both really bad guys. You know, he suffered a blast, TBI. That’s really what’s going on and all you MAGA Republicans out there, you really should be thanking Joe Biden for his service. (WIN)
Cheap O Gains
Ok, fluoride. You know that in water. You know they take the water comes from your house and they suffer it and put stuff back in and then put it back in the big giant tanks sitting everywhere, they call water tanks and the fluoride. See they put fluoride in, and they tell you what you want to know, or they make you think this, and you believe everything. So, it’s proven that Trump and the Republicans, they are Nazis they say. So, you will believe it. (WIN)
Listless Vessel
Well, we all know how crooked the left has been with the elections and it’s my idea that they plan to do the same thing in the upcoming election. They’re going to prop up Joe Biden. They’re going to put in a new Vice President and as soon as the election’s over, they’re going to declare him incompetent and appoint the new Vice President, President because they know that person wouldn’t have won anyway. So, we’re in big trouble. Vote in person. (WIN)
P Rick
Ok, on October 21st, 2023, on a committee meeting, Christopher wrong way Ray said that Iran was planning to assassinate previous and current high profile political leaders. I think this is going to be a black flag, the assassinate Donald Trump because, to get rid of him, and to cause us to have a war with Iran and if that happens, boy, God help the country. (WIN)
The Demon Of Omaha
Ok, well FDR was desperately trying to get the United States into World War 2, but he couldn’t quite figure out how to do it because he had got an elected, promising to keep our sons out of any foreign war and so he needed the attack on Pearl Harbor, and he knew it was coming and he let it happen. He didn’t do anything to prevent it from happening. He wanted it to happen so he would finally have his excuse to get the United States into World War 2. (WIN)
December 14th, 2023
Kirby
Ok, listen closely. Take notes. This is actually conspiracy theory number 42. Ok. That’s wild that you talked about that. Now I don’t need to explain the significance of the number 42 so, and I do promise you this is the best offered up, and I know and I went back and looked the last 116 conspiracy theory Thursday episodes and definitely for all of 2023. So, I’ve been keeping track. Let’s go back and listen. You gotta take my word for it. So, I’m going to remind the audience just a few weeks ago in San Francisco, the president of the United States met with Joe Biden, and I know that… you have, what was that? That wasn’t 30 seconds, was it? (WIN)
Chansey Gardner
Karine Jean-Pierre, a black lesbian immigrant, could be the most clueless and uninformed White House Press Secretary of all time, but she’s not. She was a sleeper agent placed in the Democratic camp by none other than Rush Limbaugh. In 2008 he sent her to work for the Obama White House, and the rest is history. Always on the search for humorous material from Democrats, the diabolical plan is now in full force. Every day conservative talk show hosts have plenty of material to use on their shows. Another benefactor is Peter Doocy who’s questions …. Outright lies and borderline insanity. One must work hard to be at this level of idiocy and Karine diversity hire has been exceptional. Rush looks down from above and is pleased. (WIN)
Purple Haze
Alright, I don’t know if you all covered this before. I heard you on the radio, so I figured that I’d call in. The planes that you see flying above that have a line behind them are known as chem trails. No, their contrails. They say contrails, I misspoke. They say contrails. They are actually chem trails. They are spraying toxins such as aluminum, mercury, and graphene oxide. There’s actually a documentary on it, and they’re taking atmospheric levels air quality sample readings at different altitude, and they all check out. (WIN)
Maga With That Swaga
Well, it turns out that the alien abduction phenomenon is an elaborate breeding program to insert influential leaders into American culture. When the 47, 1947 Roswell saucer crashed, Al Gore was born 9 months later. In 1961 the famous Betty and Barney Hill abduction produced Barack Obama, but lately the leftists you follow just pause it that the right-wing radio industry is being infiltrated by a species known as the Mark-aliens. The Mark-alien, this is the proof. The proof is that many women working at radio stations are reproducing at an alarming rate and guess what, the babies have no hair. (WIN)
Edge Head
Ok, so in Dayton we have a phenomenon of cars crashing into buildings. I’m not sure if you are aware of this. I think you are. But I think the reason behind it is they have a radio show host there. His name is Todd Holst, host of the Evening Edge and believe he’s been sending out subliminal messages over the radio station WHIO streaming around him that influence them to crash into buildings because he is a mad scientist. (WIN)
Bow Dawg
I think Dr. Jill Biden is behind all this Joe and Hunter Biden stuff because those two don’t have the brain for it. They need to investigate her.
Angry Cat Lady
Ok, the reason I’m calling is, I wasn’t getting through, that little girl that called, I listen, you know, and she’s like so sweet, so I had to call. She called you sir. So, here’s what’s going to happen. I want to reiterate this. Please, please people. Look at yourself. There’s going to be an earthquake in California. It’s going to happen. I was in a 6.0, 6.0 earthquake in D.C. God is angry. It’s going to happen sir. (WIN)
Bionic
Alright, Hannah did not have a baby. Hannah is actually out because there was a horrible accident with a scented candle. She has now become the bionic woman with a bionic ear so that she can relate to you everything that is going on in Congress so that you don’t have to rely on what is actually coming out of the press. She also can run at 16 miles per hour. (WIN)
The Professor
They always made the comment that they are trying to get people to eat bugs. Well, I think I know why that is. You heard the theory that there’s a lot of people at the top levels of our government that are actually lizard people. Well, they like bugs. That’s it. Lizards love bugs.
Bull Rider
From Biblical days when people turned from Gods ways the dark spirits were released. Moreso, as America turns from these ways, notice some of the symbols like the bull, the Wallstreet Bull, the Bull market and as they turn from Gods ways these dark spirits are being awakened and you’re seeing them in front of you. Just watch the news at night. You can begin to see them. Anybody with spiritual minds you can see them even more. (WIN)
Mark
So, in Hunters laptop there was a file that they were finally able to get into, code named SPP, which stands for Snort-able Paint Products and within that file they found a color. It was called vivid white, that they had the laboratory in China develop for him. It was going to be snort-able cocaine. It was vivid coke. Well, it was short for Vidco. Vidco was the code-name, and he didn’t realize that the Chinese read their words backwards, so they read it Covid instead of Vidco and Wala. That’s how we ended up with Covid first but now we have Vivid Coke and his paint products and if you notice all his paintings, the more white it is the more expensive it is. (WIN)
December 21st, 2023
Late Night With Fetterman
So, cackling Kamala was watching a few weeks ago the red state, blue state debate and didn’t like the way that sleaze bag DeSantis was beating up on her lazy liberal buddy Newsome. So, she called up her boss, Barack Obama, which had liberal tie to the college bowl, and she said, “We’re not having that, we’re not playing that.” So, boss Obama says, “You know Kamala, you’re right.” So, he calls up the college bowl committee and said, “Hey, we need to eliminate Florida State University from the game for political reasons. It’s not looking good for a conservative to beat up our friend Gavin Newsome on the liberal stage.” And so, the college bowl committee says, “Ok, boss. The plane. The plane.” (WIN)
Indigo Warrior
Ok, with the Bidenely crime family taking the Department of Justice and the FBI and weaponizing them, what he’s planning on doing is once he’s out of office, he’s going to sick the FBI and the Department of Justice on all the crime families across the entire United States, and therefore will take over all the crime family business for his own. (WIN)
The Secret One
My conspiracy theory has to do with the fact that we have professional bureaucrats who are in office or in their position because they want to have an agenda that they want to push, and they want to have weak governance. Weak political leaders like Biden for example, so that they can do what they want and just run the show, so they are pushing more for weak political involvement. One way they do it is they’re encouraging these states to have open primaries, where they have the worst of the worst getting elected in primaries. (WIN)
Vegas Joe
Ok, one of Bill Clinton’s college roommates was the editor, now he’s deceased, of the Las Vegas Review Journal. They were close enough where Bill Clinton used to come out and spend the night with him here in Vegas, or there in Vegas, and this man, and I can’t recall his name, his father was Bugsy Siegel’s accountant. When Bugsy came out, and Bugsy Siegel, of course, was a member of murder incorporated, which, we may know now how the Clinton family had the connection to make some of their enemies disappear. (WIN)
Natta Slick Pimp Named Hillbilly
Do you remember the mysterious imprint lines on Joe Biden’s face? Do you really know why he’s called sleepy Joe? The White House explained these lines were from a Sea pap mask, and at his age that sounds logical. The truth is that Joe Biden’s receiving state of the art life extending procedures from Dr. Conrad Murry. Dr. Murry’s offer of the best sleep you’ve ever had, or you can’t be president guarantee had Joe Biden from the basement to the White House. After years of this procedure using Propofol and Epinephrin daily to turn Joe Biden on and off like a light switch has given us a basically brain-dead Biden, explaining his cognitive decline. (WIN)
Hershey’s Kisses
Well, Hershey’s Kisses, or Hershey’s in general, decided to call in Mark and hey, lets make a hat. Make it look like a Hershey’s Kisses cause for a long, long time Hershey Kisses was solid, then it went hollow. But, when Mark got the hat on, hey, lets make it solid again. Is that something we need to do again? (WIN)
Joe
I believe that the reason that President Biden, Joe Biden, is allowing the border to be wide open is that he ultimately wants to turn the state of Texas blue. If he turns the state of Texas blue, the Republicans will never win another presidential election. (WIN)
Bobby
President Biden has dementia so bad; he does have a double. I have proof of it. I have photos, but he gets worse by the day and he’s eventually going into a nice rest home and the double will take over as president.