July 2023 Mark Kaye's Kayetriot's Conspiracy Theories
July 13th, 2023
Dr. Strange Love
On board the Titan submersible was Paul-Henri Nargeolet, who was known as Mr. Titanic and was the expert on the topic. The Titanic was not sunk by hitting an iceberg but by an explosion ordered by J.P. Morgan and the Roshells to make sure detractors of the federal reserve, including Jacob Ashter, were silenced. The Fed was established a few months after the tragedy. David de Rothschild is on the OceanGate board of directors and New Nargeolet was about to obtain the last bit of evidence needed to prove the theory. (WIN)
Boomhauer
Alright man, the all the dang-old them dang-old documents that Trump took from the White House man, all them are related to sexual trafficking and that all made sense why everybody’s out to get him because he got dirt on them. He’s got dirt on all of them that are all involved in that dang-old get ripped in that dang-old state. That’s the only thing that makes sense.
Mamasita
So, with China buying up all the farmlands in the USA, to plant their own crops to send back home. But with the threat of China becoming more and more severe, what is the best way to find out how exactly to attack the US without destroying your farmland. What better way than to start wildfires in Canada to see directly how a nuclear impact would affect the United States. (WIN)
Country Tent 340
The cocaine in the White House is from Hunter Biden but he’s hiding behind his dad’s back and he’s paying the Feds to not tell on him. And he’s trying hard not to get caught so he don’t have to go back to jail. (WIN)
Billy Bob
Fox News will be no more for 24. It will be RINO News courtesy of Paul Ryan.
MAGA With That Swagga
This theory is about a man who’s ripping his way to the top radio scene. His end game has always been the White House. He got up on the man Herman Cane back in the day, looking to be his VP and before he was doing that, he was making sure that emoji’s look just like him for when he’s president and so everybody will use his face as a punctuation mark, get it, and he got that Ron and Don coin. So, he flips it everyday so that he can figure out who’s going to be his VP. (WIN)
Truth Sayer
Not sure if you heard any of the articles or seen any of the articles regarding climatologists, meteorologists, and scientists from the National Institute of Environmental Standards coming together to research the impact deforestation that created windmill farms as well as solar panel farms. Three things they found out was an increase of temperatures by 10 to 15 degrees. CO2 CO percentages in a year increased 200-fold, and the meteorologists said that this creates vortex for tornado’s each season for E5 to touchdown. (WIN)
Jerry West
Well, you know, with all the wild fires in Canada, I think that was a pretty clear shot of where the ammonium nitrate went, especially with all the reddish, orangish smoke that was pummeling New York and that’s the color that ammonium nitrate makes when it is oxidized so that was a pretty clear shot to me where I guess they were planting it everywhere around Canada forest and letting it go off. (WIN)
Project MK Ultra
The sitcom Laverne and Shirley was a communist plot to mainstream wokeism. It shows women having a great career at a beer factory rather than getting married and raising children. It also promoted the unmasked unman with complete idiots and losers Lenny and Squiggy, who sounds an awful lot like Dillan Mulvaney. Laverne ended up as marketing VP of the now debunked shots beer, no surprise, and Shirley went on to promote drag shows featuring Lenny and Squiggy. (WIN)
Bubble Wrap
Ok, I think they’re trying to sneak in and take our man cards. The other day you said something about wagging my circles, which I think they put something in your coffee. I think they’re putting special sauce in the Bud Light, well I don’t even drink beer, and then I didn’t know chaps were assless until you mentioned it because every time, I wear mine pulling vines out on my fence line, guys are honking and waving and honking. They’re finding ways to, it ain’t funny. I mean, a couple of guys were nice. I’m going to the movies with a couple of them, but you know. Why don’t they have a sticker that says these chaps are assless because I didn’t know they were assless. I wear them out pulling vines and then these guys are like Haaaay. Look up honking. I mean I got some friendly neighbors. I got some good neighbors. Hey neighbor. Hey. (WIN)
The Real Mark Kaye
Hey, I just want to let you know that the bag of cocaine was purposely put down for people to find. You know as well as I do when Democrats have heat on them, they got to turn your attention to something else. Think about what was on the news right before the cocaine. We had them on recorded, audio record talking, giving up Dad and Hunter and the heat was starting to get on them so hey, Hunter is just going to throw down a little bag of cocaine, turn everybody’s attention to that. (WIN)
July 20th, 2023
Bears Beets And Battlestar Galactica
Ok, not to be outdone by Hollywood but the drama Kings and Queens at UPS are on the verge of striking. I don’t believe this is going to happen because Carol Tome, the CEO of UPS, tried to make a deal where the U would turn into Ukrainian Parcel Service, but the government wasn’t having any of that and the fact that she would have to send 340 thousand workers over to Ukraine and have them fight. Most of our people can’t even fight their way out of a wet paper bag. So, she figured it would just be better to make a deal and prevent a strike, so we continue service. (WIN)
MAGA With That Swagga
Ok, Mark Kaye for President part 2. Matt Walsh came into the studio to discuss a bill amending the constitution to allow Canadians to run. Unfortunately, that triggers Justin Trudeau to run against Mark and little Justin tries to sway the public to accept the 666 plan. It turns out Herman Kane prepared Mark for this moment. Mark will flip the number to 999, have the whole country chant chunky ducky as they elect Kaye and put Trudeau away. (WIN)
Dark Shadow
Ok, so my conspiracy theory is there is a movie recently out, The Sound of Freedom, and it is getting a lot of controversy. It’s being talked about a lot on the media and to me I believe the cabal, the elite lizards have their hands and power in many places that we don’t suspect and it’s scary. (WIN)
Grammy D
So, you all know who Ma Barker is. Well, we have a Ma Biden, or otherwise known as Dr. Jill. So, she has spent decades hobnobbing with all the other senators and the DOJ’s wives and the IRS big wig’s wives and all that so that she has a lot of crap on all these people because you know wives talk about their husbands and what they do at work. So, she’s got the money when Hunter goes to jail, Biden dies. She’s got the money. (WIN)
Dingleberry
President Trump actually plays the game of Washington better than anybody. It turns out he has a high placed spy within the Biden campaign. This spy’s name is Hunter Biden. It turns out that Hunter Biden is the illegitimate child of Trump and Stormy Daniels and that explains the cocaine and pornos and everything else, but it turns out Hunter is actually working for Trump, and this will all be revealed here soon when Trump adopts his illegitimate child in Arkansas. (WIN)
Joe-anon
Well, my conspiracy theory is that Michelle Obama will be the next candidate for the Democratic party. This has been set in motion. First, they don’t like what Biden is doing. Further into 24, you’re going to see the 17 tapes come out, which is going to make Biden step down, Kamala take over, do a poor job which will now open up a new candidate for the Democratic party and that will be Michelle Obama. (WIN)
Bit Coin Sucks
North Carolina funded the research over in the Wuhan lab. The reason that they did that was because they were being paid by Pfizer, who made the vaccination, and guess where Pfizer is located. North Carolina.
Teamster
George Bush Senior was made the CIA director after he served in the CIA, and he was there the day that JFK was assassinated. There’re photographs of him being there, but he refutes being there. And I believe that he was in on the conspiracy and the coverup when, it may have been an accident of JFK being assassinated but they covered it up and then he became the president of the United States, but I believe he was there that day. (WIN)
Little Bean
We have not been seeing the real Biden. He’s never left his basement. The person serving in his place was actually created by Disney. He an animatronic. They’re testing out the Biden president animatronic character. This explains the crack falls, falling off the stage, tripping on steps, and in fact he can’t make up his mind on what he’s supposed to say because there’s no brain there.
July 27th, 2023
Pinky And The Brain
Ok, Q says everything’s like we’re watching a movie and speaking of movies, Hunger Games has a new one coming out, even though it might not be finished yet because of the writers strike. It’s going to be about the White House Chefs. They’re going to battle to the death. Some might be found floating on their paddle boards mysteriously and the cause of death will always be the same. It’s who your connected to. It’s who you know, what you know and of course theirs only two suspects. Clintons or Obamas and maybe Bidens. (WIN)
Lunch Box
Mark Kaye is an alien. This came to my attention yesterday during the program when Hannah was excited about the Congressional hearing on UFOs and Mark oddly enough was sarcastic about it. I’ve never heard him sarcastic before, but he was sarcastic about this, and I believe it is because he himself is an alien and the proof is in his Friday monologue. I don’t believe it is humanly possible for anybody to talk that fast for that long to ACDC’s Thunderstruck. (WIN)
The Crazy Cat Lady
So, a short history lesson. When Biden was first running there was many news articles saying that he wasn’t going to make it his first four years. The Secret Service, sticking to their original plan, is deliberately showing their weaknesses. First with their Ireland agenda being left out in the open and then a truck crashing into the something, and now the crack found, showing all their weaknesses in hopes that somebody will take out Hunter Biden. Please don’t do it. Don’t fall for their agendas. (WIN)
Custard Pie
Ok, the real reason that Mark keeps winning the trivia challenge is because in the couch cushion there is a device that he planted there, and the device is designed to drain brain energy from Jay and transfer it to Mark so that he can answer the questions so easily. But Jays been training himself to resist it so that’s why he’s been getting more and more points each week and soon he’ll be able to completely resist it. (WIN)
Tin Foil Skiff
Delawares district judge unusual course of action was not meant to hold Hunter accountable for being a drug addict, but to protect the DOJ from making a terrible mistake. In the agreement, there are loopholes that will allow Hunter to still do drugs, but not in the White House or on Federal property. The real problem was if you read the plea agreement, both sides stated fact that Hunter has been clean and sober since May of 2019. Witnesses from the DOJ will confirm it. Meaning the plea agreement will be determined null and void and Hunter can be prosecuted for tax fraud and gun charges under Trumps DOJ. (WIN)
Proud Pop Pop
Barak Obama said he would love to have an underling in the next administration so he could have a third term. Along comes Joe Biden, the puppet. Trans lifestyle is not only rejoiced, but encouraged and along comes Michael Obama, the Obama fourth term.
The Obaminator
I’m thinking that since the sous-chef lived with the Obamas, maybe he walked in on Michael, I mean Michelle at a time he shouldn’t have and saw something he shouldn’t have, and they just couldn’t let that get out and he couldn’t be a whistle blower.
Cookie Monster
Hunter Biden is actually a Russian plant. He is a sleeper put in place to bring down Joe Biden and eventually maybe DC. Him winding up as president was a Russians wet dream. One of the reasons that Putin invaded Ukraine was to get the documentation on Joe that Trump wanted. Hunter is actually the love child of Boris Yeltsin and Nancy Pelosi. (WIN)