June 2023 Mark Kaye's Kayetriot's Conspiracy Theories
June 1st, 2023
Lego My Milktoast
Ok when Hollywood runs out of creativity like they have they have to remake everything like the Little Mermaid recently came out and doing ok I guess but the screenwriters are on strike so fans are going to have to make all the movies. Well, they’re going to have to do reboots of things like the Untouchables which we will call the Untuckables where Al Capones ghost is going to haunt Elliot Nesses grandchildren and, you know, their going to be the woke grandchildren obviously so he’s going to tease them to death. And, of course Blazing Saddles needs a remake. It will be called Side Saddles and well the sheriff, we don’t have to worry about what color he’ll be or nonbinary status. (WIN)
Slagathor
When you call into the Mark Kaye Show, after the whole time it goes into an auditory bar code and it constantly tells you to call back to the Mark Kaye Show.
Mamasaurus
In 1808, under Teddy Roosevelt, the FBI was created to investigate corruption in the government. It’s grown since other areas of the people of the US in order to get the US on board with the New World Order. One World Government plan, they need to abolish the FBI. So, the EU’s version of the FBI is already on board with it. So, the media, who is already in bed with the corrupt government, is pushing how corrupt the FBI has been by helping the government in hurting the people, AKA Twitter. They’re manipulating the voters to push for dismantling the FBI so they can get the New World Order started. (WIN)
The Only Mostly Dead Voter
The Democrat party has been resorting to Smishing to extort money for campaigns or to further woke policies using within Corporations. They target certain companies, owners, or employees or those that have previously done campaign donations or ordered signs. Victims may receive text that threaten public humiliation. Common methods involve reporting family indiscretions, like their kid biting another’s ear. They often address using different name and using a variety of methods to get their agenda or try to get credit card information if they are blackmailing a Republican because he has donated to them. (WIN)
904
Ok, sixty thousand pounds of ammonium nitrate is missing. It’s missing from the train cars most people know. Now just from the EPA’s point of view it should be in bags or barrels. The train said it’s dropped it somewhere on the tracks and our government and the EPA aren’t saying a whole lot about anything and I’m starting to feel like this is some form of a coverup and it’s scaring me. (WIN)
Hanky Panky Franky
Yeah, the reason for the new TV being such a hinderance today is to distract from whatever God forbid planning for the show you all might have had because of whatever was going on over a three-day weekend and you didn’t have time to plan for this week, running out of time, anyway. (WIN)
Sleepy Joe Gotta Go
Alright, so it’s funny how Ukraine used to be so talked about but now Biden, I believe that he’s freaking putting all the money to for, what is his sons name, Hunter Biden, and now you don’t hear about it but we are still sending so much money to them so that’s why our government’s money is getting so down the drain and so that’s why Biden is putting it to the next president, which I hope Trump gets it, but you know, Biden’s going to do what he’s going to do to get in Presidency for next year. (WIN)
Lost Joker
Alright, we got a Commander in Chief that’s changing over the automotive industry to electric. I think he knows our world history that we need our automotive skills. But when they going to change all this equipment around, how are we going to build our new war machines for World War three when he puts us in it? (WIN)
Ritz Bitz
Ok, so the ammonium nitrate that was on the train that got lost and then the, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, there’s a lot of diesel trucks that are catching on fire and then there was a recall on the Ram, Dodge Ram trucks, but there’s been a few trucks that have been keep catching on fire in the middle of driving, just explode into flames. So, maybe they are trying to, they took all that ammonium nitrate, put it in the diesel fuel. So now, they are exceeding the trucks so that the diesel trucks that haul our food and our produce and everything we need from diesel trucks, we won’t have it anymore. (WIN)
June 8th, 2023
Teflon Dawn
Ok, Japan actually invaded America in World War 2 and they flew a balloon over Oregon at that time as a part of their plan. An eerily similar path in what China flew and their plan was to invade through the Panama Canal and through Canada and through Alaska. They’re actually called the illusion island campaign and I think they’re following something very similar. I think they’re taking notes from Japan. (WIN)
Joe Biden’s Plumber
Well people run for President, some because they sincerely want the office. Others, they just want to promote their name and I’m just thinking about Ben Affleck. He’s been the spokesman for Dunkin Doughnuts for a while and he’s not going to want that gig forever. What I’m thinking is Chris Christie, what he really wants to do, he wants that gig himself. He wants to be the Dunkin Doughnuts spokesman and think of the benefits to him and the commercials he can make. And that’s my conspiracy. (WIN)
Fly Guy
Ok, because Pixar is introducing Elemental the new Disney crop that’s coming out in theaters, the Deep State is introducing their own version with Earth, Fire, Wind, and Water. While they blew up a dam in Ukraine and flooded everything, they got the fire in Quebec which was probably started with a direct energy weapon the way they all started simultaneously. Wind, well that’s just Eric Swalwell breaking wind along with Chris Christie of course. Who’s smelling that? And Earth is going to be the earth-shattering news when Trump beats another inditement again. (WIN)
Area 51
A 3010 shipment of explosive chemicals traveling from Wyoming to California by rail disappeared in route. Biden’s plan was to take out two political rivals at once. Secretary of transportation beet bootyjuice with the FBI in tow, seized the material and planned to blow up the California governor mansion, with governor hairdo in it, then blame Donald Trump for the attack since he’s a white supremacist who would do that sort of thing. When Pete got so despondent with the passing of Tina Turner that he could not stop playing “What’s Love Got to do with it” and the plot failed. (WIN)
The Only Mostly Dead Beetle
Hunter, you played the fool. When the laptop was discovered. But the news covered for your dad and 50 experts find the letter. Hunter don’t be afraid. You’re the bagman for Joe Biden. The minute that they try to indite, the DOJ will make it better. And after all they won’t find details with Biden to the cabals syphoning Ukraine aid to your checkbook. (WIN)
Conspiracy
So, Joe Biden brags about taking money from Ukraine until its district attorney gets fired and now, we’re pumping billions of dollars to Ukraine for the war. He receives money from Russia to ok the war on Ukraine. Then, and only then, Russia gets involved to invade. Now we got spy balloons flying over our country, we have proof that he’s taking money from China, and now they are going to invade the US. (WIN)
Hillbilly
For the last three weeks American Trivia Warrior has taken place in the new studio. A face-to-face intellectual battle. Three times Jay has lost. After analyzing hours of video, I noticed Jays demeanor was off. He wasn’t as peppy and he’s slow to hit the buzzer. I had to look no further than your new studio soundproofing that actually emits and electromagnetic pulse delaying Jays response. Mark has been taking the antidote daily when Hannah reminds him to take his brain pills while doing the preshow checklist. Jay can only overcome this cheating by Mark if he wears the tinfoil hat or returns to his production studio. (WIN)
June 15th, 2023
Don’t Call Me Francis
No answer
Bubble Wrap
Ok, so thirty days before the Bud Lite problem, Bill Gates spent almost a billion on Heineken stock. Don’t you think he slipped Mrs. Heine shiner, shiny Heiner maybe ten million and then she just pushed Bud Lite stock right off the cliff. Maybe they wanted her to short, they wanted to short the stock. Maybe they wanted options to short the stock. It just seams very strange he’d dump a billion dollars and then thirty days later they loose twenty billion. (WIN)
Don’t Call Me Francis
Ok, like you mentioned, Garth Brooks is opening a bar and it’s not his, I think it is his first rodeo doing it and he’s shallow enough to think that if he offends people, people are going to come to it. And so, he chose a certain long necked bottle to be featured in said bar and he didn’t have to call Baton Rouge to be able to do it. He’s doing this as reverse psychology knowing that all the yelp people that leave reviews are going to come first thinking its just a dive bar and tear up all the blue-collar folks. (WIN)
Donald Trump’s Toupee
Alright, so everybody’s talking about how all these trials, and everything are trying to just keep Donald Trump busy and keep him in the news before the 2024 elections and how the Democrats are trying to make him the nominee. I think they’re going to keep that up with the trials just so happening to be in step in time with all the elections. So, their end game is that their October or September surprise is that they’re going to admit that they cheated in 2020, give him the office and say that he’s disqualified. (WIN)
Big Bingo
Ok, the government really does have UFO’s and alien bodies and they will release them the day that the Biden bribery tapes are released. Talk about a smoke screen. That’s it.
Chocolate Chip Ice Cream
Ok, so here we go. Not sure if I can make it thirty seconds but I’m going to try my best. So Modelo, obviously is drunken by a lot of South American people and apparently, they’ve been flying, coming across the boarder in hoards. It would be pretty smart to look at some of these Democrats stock options. Pretty sure some of them have stock in Modelo. (WIN)
Area 51
Bees are responsible for pollinating 80% of flowering plants which include their food supply. The Bee population is on a rapid decline. Agriculture Secretary Tom Vilsack sated that the decline was due to parasites like him. In a supposed unrelated story, UFOs were spotted in Las Vegas recently. UFOs were in reality USA drones that got lost. In order to reduce our food, supply the drones are used to kill queen bees by playing Taylor Swift songs near their hives. The Acc Secretary was reached for comment and told us to buzz off. (WIN)
Captain Kirk
Ok Mark, do you, they used to say that if man were meant to fly, He’d have wings. But he did fly. He discovered he had to. Hannah, do you wish that the first Apollo mission hadn’t reached the moon or that we hadn’t gone onto Mars and then the nearest star. That’s like saying that you wish that you still operated with a scalpel and sewed your patients up with packs like your great grandfather used to. Look, wait, am I done? (WIN)
June 22nd, 2023
Gas Powered
At approximately 10 AM eastern time John Kerry and several Democrat climatologists were not aware that they were being recorded when they asked an artificial intelligence robot that the human race caused global warming. (Play the audio)
Voice 1 – “You ask it”
Voice 2 – “No, You”
Voice 1 – “No, you damnit”
Voice 2 – “Ok, Ok, Ok, Ok. Did the human race cause global warming?”
AI in robot voice – “Global warming was not caused by man. It is just mother nature’s course”
Voice 2 – “(cursing)” (WIN)
Joe Biden’s Plumber
Discontent between Boebert and Green is not real. It’s a fallacy, it’s staged. They’re setting the stage for a charity fight. It’s going to be held in Las Vegas. Donald Trump is going to be the Master of Ceremonies. He’s going to be in the middle of the ring wearing a bow tie with a microphone in his hand saying “In this corner. The Peach from Colorado. Margery Taylor Green. In this corner. The pimple packing mama from Colorado, Lauren Boebert. They’re going to go at it. They’re going to raise millions of dollars for the next elections and its going to be epic. (WIN)
Colonel Corn Pop
Everyone thinks Joe Biden is getting too old to do his job but its all a rouse to smuggle out secret papers. He’ll shove them up his pants by his hairy legs and shuffle his feet to get a static charge to keep them there. And if he’s got a whole lot, he’ll have to go to the Easter Bunny and get an extra static charge. Then he’ll stumble off to the side of the stage and someone will come and touch him and get that spark and the papers will drop down his leg. He has a code word like save the queen and you’ll know what country he’s delivering the money. (WIN)
Garlic
As you know the Vice President is only a heartbeat, or in Biden’s case a trip and fall away from the presidency and the Democrats realize that with Kamala as their VP, they’re not going to win. So, they have to find some way of getting her off the ticket. They’ll find some family emergency or health issue to take her off and will probably be replaced by gruesome Newsome which as you know is Nancy Pelosi’s nephew. (WIN)
The One And Only
Ok, President Biden and the American government have a hidden agenda with the open southern borders enabling thousands of illegal aliens to cross the border every day into our country. NASA’s Artemis space program’s main objective is to transport humans to colonize and populate the moon and Mars in the future. While this country needs human test subjects to accomplish this though. So, the illegal aliens will serve this purpose. They will be adjudicated these foreigners as illegals in need of deportation, but not to their original countries of origin, but to the moon and Mars to populate and colonize. Illegal aliens essentially are human guinea pigs to make this mission objective successful in the future. (WIN)
Joey Blue Eyes
Ok, whenever Mark says on your mark and Hannah says Kaye Show, she’s really saying queso and it’s making everybody hungry for Mexican food because you all have a stock in Chili’s restaurant and getting kickback from that. Either that or I’m really and FBI informant and I’m ratting you out on that kickback you’re getting.
Tennessee
Alright, so after Edward Snowden blew the roof off the NSA they were spying illegally off the American citizens, they had to get creative. They used pigeons and surveillance drones. You never look twice at a pigeon but let me ask you something. Have you ever seen a baby pigeon? No. Bird watching works both ways people. They charge wirelessly via electro magnetic induction on the telephone wires. That’s why you see them posted. And also, the U.S. government had Dale Earnhardt killed because the southern belt. They were worshiping him more than God. Raise hell. Praise Dale. (WIN)
June 29th, 2023
Rumble Monkey
So, the mafia exists today. It exists in the Democratic party. Now, to have a mafia you have to have a boss, you have to have enforcers, you have to have paid officials, and you have to have paid cops. Who are the players? Obama. Easily the big guy. Enforcers and bagmen, Joe and Hunter. They take the fall for anything the big guy doesn’t get pointed at. Paid officials, DOJ and Garland. Paid cops, the FBI. (WIN)
The Only Mostly Dead Voter
Are the FBI tracking down conspiracy theory regulars? Why haven’t we heard from listener favorites like Witness Protection Elvis and A Pimp Named Slickback in over a month? I don’t consider myself high on the list although I did expose the goobers. But I have been hearing call like cackling coming into my phone conversations and I have seen people following me that have Adam Schiff like googly eyes. I’m worried that I might be…. (WIN)
Fat Man
Ok, Joe Biden wins 2024 for election for the help of the aliens from outer space. They come down, they invade Kamala Harris’s house and Nancy Pelosi’s house, and all of the sudden they think Joe Biden is the smartest man on the planet and they help him win the election because they think he’s the smartest man on the planet. (WIN)
Submarine
My conspiracy theory is the submarine that imploded and the loss of five billionaires. I don’t believe that these people are dead. I believe that they went out on the big boat to get to the submarine and there are videos and pictures of that. I believe that these people are currently being held hostage and I think that they put a bomb or whatever it was in the submarine and then it imploded on Sunday, and they knew about it but they, and they hold the hostage for, what that is that’s part two of my conspiracy theory. (WIN)
Stephen
The reason Joe Biden keeps saying he lost his son in Iraq is because he probably did. This gentleman was single for a very long time. I’m sure he has a couple of illegitimate children out there. Now I’m sure he probably did lose his son, but within his dementia, he doesn’t know not to talk about it around anyone else but family. That’s all.
Jackamo
I’m two percent sure that this is not a conspiracy theory, but the ninety-eight percent makes me want to say something to you. I saw a multimedia, social media platform that said the granddaughter of Joe Biden is professing that he’s not for real. He’s an imposter and that his twin brother is in the White House right now representing him as the President of the United States. (WIN)
Laser Wolf
Alright, I believe that the Chinese invasion on Taiwan is not because they want their people back. It’s because these semi-conductor factories hold super high-level AI technology. Military grade and they want the access to it. I believe that those factories are probably ready to be taken down at any second if an invasion were to happen and that there are current gigafactories being built here in the United States. Can’t say where, but it’s a scramble so that we can make the semi-conductors here instead of there for not when but if and when that invasion happens. (WIN)
Mr. Toad
Ok, the sub really didn’t take anybody down. It was a prop at best. Nobody’s going to get into that death metal tube with a controller controlled, being directed by text messaging. What happened is these billionaires get in there, they got picked up after they did go down, maybe a couple of hundred feet and they’re living lavishly in some cave building that they’ve been working on, the government has been working on. So, these philanthropist billionaires, they can get out of the spotlight without actually dying. (WIN)