October 2022 Mark Kaye's Kayetriot's Conspiracy Theories
October 6th, 2022
Bugs Bunny
Donald Trump loves black people. Do you remember when Donald Trump got LaVar Ball’s son out of China for stealing? LaVar Ball disrespected Trump so bad, Trump learned something from that. He is actually going to get Brittney Griner from Russia, but he’s letting everything fail and then he’s going to get her out, get him out with his plane and the reason I say him is because Britney has a size 17 foot. He does not hold the woman’s record, which is size 15. Britney is a dude. (WIN)
Blind Willy
The Biden cabinet is the Rocky Horror Picture Show of all presidential cabinets. They actually live the movie. It’s the freak show. It’s the collection of people that are anti-American, who hate America, who are actively………….…the country………..…..as they destroy are energy grid. That’s it.
Jem City Kayetriot
Ok, yesterday when Joe Biden went down to Florida, it was a little bit after a year ago that “Let’s Go Brandon” became a thing since the racer and everything won his race and his first name is Brandon. So, since Joe Biden is so traumatized that he’s a lizard person anyway, FJB was on his mind when he had his little dirty word slip, and he was just trying to repeat to fit in with all the Floridians and be popular. So, his brain got triggered and everything deprogramed and he let it fly. (WIN)
Deep Mom you, you know the thing
Ok, so as you know, yesterday Jay for the first time won the trophy. My conspiracy is, (Mark buzzed him) you should have waited on that one, is that Jay and Hannah got together before the show and shared just enough answers and the fact that they’re wanting to buzz me proves that I’m telling the truth.
Tired of Stupid
When I was in grammar school, we had block letters and cursive letters above the chalk board from second grade on as far as I can remember. Just by looking at them for eight hours a day or for however long it was, you couldn’t help but memorize it. My mother gave my granddaughter a handwritten letter for Christmas. She couldn’t read it. We realized that she couldn’t read cursive so now she can’t read the Declaration of Independence or any other historical document. (WIN)
Mr. Mago
Alright, earlier you guys touched on the subject that Joe Biden might need help from Viagra or Cialis. I have indeed confirmed that this is true and his doctors found out that it doesn’t actually help him with his love life, but it does make him stand taller and erect and helps him to seem more presidential. (WIN)
Super Trucker
Ok, you know that the secret service is covering up the accident that Kamala Harris was involved in. First, they claimed that it was a mechanical failure. What actually happened was that she didn’t want to go to the White House and remembering what Trump was accused of doing on January 6th, she launched herself through the partition, fought the driver for the wheel, and caused him to go onto the curb and they tried to cover it up so nobody would know it. (WIN)
Doc. Brown
Well, I think that the first dude was in the limo with her and he wanted to fulfill his fantasy of having fun in the limo. So, they got to going after it in the back seat and the driver heard the noise. He turned around and hit up the curb. Kamala banged her head and that’s why they had to take her to the hospital, I think. But I think that’s what happened there. (WIN)
October 13th, 2022
October Surprise
Alright, sports fans are noticing this is a really weird use of the NFL. Its not because Dan Snyder has a list of misdeeds by every owner and he’s ready to spill the tea on it. It’s because Americans are struggling and the only thing we can turn to is sports betting. Recently there’s been some really weird calls where ordinary sacs of the quarterback has turned into game changing roughing the passer calls and somebody recently noticed that the officials are now sponsored by Caesar’s sports club. (WIN)
B.J.
So, nobody in the media really cares about crime, especially in the city of New York. Lee Zeldin was watching the house of cards first season and saw where Underwood had his wife distracting security so that Stanford can throw a brick through his window to end a teachers strike. So, Zeldin got the idea that if I got a crime on my front porch they would have to come to my house and cover crime for a change. (WIN)
Peanut Butter
Two words, your backpack, sleek. Let’s call it what it is. It’s not metro, it’s sleek. So, the plot behind this, taking a page out of Yeh’s book, Con Yeh, Yeh’s book. You sported the black backpack. So, who’s going to be sporting the white backpack? None other than Herschel Walker’s son, Christian Walker all in an attempt to, you know in a marketing campaign, lobby for the LGBT group, you know Conservatives approach. (WIN)
Red
My conspiracy I hope is not a spoiler alert, is that Georgia will be blue in the election in November. Georgia doesn’t have any requirements for the residency stay and I’ve noticed in the last few months we have more and more out of state tax. I believe they will leave after the election and move back to their home states. I’ve started taking note of the states. I’ve seen California, New York, Colorado, Texas, Virginia, Oregon, Florida, Alabama, West Virginia, Washington, Alaska, Delaware, Illinois, Iowa, Pennsylvania, Massachusetts. (WIN)
Joe the Exterminator
Alright, what’s going to happen is that Joe Biden is going to pardon all of his family members and then he’s going to resign like Nixon and get pardoned by Kamala. That’s what I got. That’s the whole theory.
Diggy
Ok, so Russia is attacking Ukraine and we’re putting military equipment there. China’s going to attack Taiwan and we’re going to put military equipment there. North Korea’s going to attack Japan. We’re going to put military there. They’re all going to back out and they’re going to attack America because they know our equipment isn’t here.
Mr. Ed
Ok, the Wuhan virus hit the United States pandemic. You loose military men and women because they won’t take the shot so you got a weakened military. You’re sending all you’re arms here, there, and everywhere, to Ukraine to support them. China’s in with Russia so they’re going to both come together and attack the United States once we got a weakened military. (WIN)
Definitely Not Brandon
Well, the question remains day after day, week after week, year after year, of Joe Biden’s presidency, who’s calling the shots? I think I have the answer. The true handler for Joe Biden has got to be none other than John Fetterwoman. I think it absolutely has to be. His fingerprints are all over it. I’ sure there in a meeting saying now Joe, be sure to tell them that you’re going to lead an effective strategy of truininamobleofadipreshur. He says that’s great. Thanks a lot. (WIN)
Rabbit
Ok, you don’t need that many because I’m dovetailing on a couple of the other guys. After our weakened military is gone, we have three million people that have come into this country illegally through cartels who would love to be a military for them. So, when they hit the light, we’ve got three million military people from the other country in the midst of our own country.
Quark
What I’m about to tell you is true. There is a very small band of the most wealthy people in the world that meets every ten years around the table of Rasputin in Boulogne, France, where they ponder the thoughts of the masters and plan the fate of the world for the next decade. This event in 2015 and they decided that the world’s economy must collapse. (WIN)
October 20th, 2022
Pepe the Frog
Nancy Pelosi made the comment “Just win baby.” There was somebody else that had that certain mantra back in the 80’s and 90’s that owned a football team in California, close to her district. It was Al Davis. Well, Al Davis and his spirit filled bodies, or buddies I should say, made a bet against the Raiders, since he’s very upset that his team was moved to Las Vegas and he wanted to roll the dice and he lost, unfortunately. So, the result of the bet was that he had to possess Nancy Pelosi’s body for a couple of weeks. (WIN)
Hondo
Ok, I’m going to talk about Biden’s behind the door meeting with King Salman in Saudi Arabia. First, Biden has decided he’s wanting to save the planet without hurting the Saudi’s financially. Next, he explains how he cut the mint of production which increased prices and increased the Saudi global market share. Next, he gives his plan to decrease the reserves. Eventually they will be refilled at a price on the floor that will discourage domestic fracking and would ensure the U.S. as a Saudi customer for the next three years in a stable, higher price. (WIN)
Ben
One day the Clinton family was in the White House and Hillary Clinton had the FBI files for, I don’t know, six months. Now I believe that the Democratic party has a beholding, all of the FBI has a beholding to the Clintons and the Democratic party. This is why they side with the Democrats on everything. Investigates, for instance Don. (WIN)
Poker Mamma
Well, we all know how Mark loves to play American Trivia Warrior every week and he’s really good at it. So, Jay comes on staff. He’s off to a rocky start, but he builds his momentum and actually beats Mark one week, which really ticked off Mark. So, Mark decided he needed to do something. So, he corners Jay in the restroom, breaks his toe, and tells him “Look out. Next time it’s going to be your kneecap.” So, the next week, Jay stays pretty quiet through the whole competition and Mark just decimated him. (WIN)
Florida Man
That thing they are putting on these liberals that are teaching these transgender agenda to our kids enforcing on them, are doing so to keep more kids at homeschool and what in turn it’s going to do is, one, decrease our gross domestic product. Two, the one that, your average American families aren’t going to be able to have as many kids as they normally would if they were going to public schools, and three, if you don’t take them out your kids going to grow up as liberals and go to California and get mutilated and there’s nothing you’re going to be able to do about it. It may increase the wage gap. (WIN)
Luscious Locks
So, according to boarder patrol, they are encountering a lot more Venezuelans, a lot more Venezuelan people coming up through the southern border. So, here’s what’s actually happening. Joe Biden is purchasing oil from Venezuela because they are sending us all their illegal immigrants to get rid of them in their country, so Joe Biden is going to buy oil from Venezuela, flood the market before the mid term to lower the price, and we are going to allow all the Venezuelan illegals into our country. (WIN)
Rooster
It’s been reported that another laptop from Hunter has been found. On the laptop they found a manifesto where he explains the complete relationship between Hunter and Joe. In the manifesto it itemizes all financial transactions from Hunter that he’s received from China and Elena Budrina and how he funneled it to Joe. It also explains the plan that Joe has on how he will bankrupt America and allow his enemies to begin to take over our government before the end of his term. Joe will never return America to oil independence at a great cost to the American people. I can neither confirm or deny that this report came from a missing investigative reporter. (WIN)
Rusty Shackleford
Everyone knows that Jay won the trivia contest a couple of weeks ago and he really likes the taste of that trophy sitting on his desk. So, he has devised a plan to sway the public opinion against you Mark, and this is what he did this past week. He made up that story about his toe and tried to garner sympathy. Those pictures he posted, not even his foot. He is after your trophy. (WIN)
Not a Biscuit Eater
Ok, so there’s a story that Lucifer told God that if he gives humans free will, there going to destroy themselves. God said that’s up to humans to make the right choice and come back to me. Lucifer was cast out partially for this. Skip to today. Elon Musk is against the way A.I. is planned to be used. He has had multiple interviews saying how he doesn’t use it in his own vehicles. Really is against it, but he helped create it. He is telling people not to use it. So, the conspiracy theory is that Elon Musk is the Anti-Christ or one of the two witnesses because the witnesses, there is a theory that they are Angels. (WIN)
Texas Aggie
Ok, so the 26th amendment was established term limits for the president. So, it says, “No person shall be elected to the office of the President more than twice.” So, with the Democrats falling out of control, I think they’re going to say that President Trump actually did win the election in 2020 and therefore he’s ineligible to run in 2024. (WIN)
Mike DeWine’s Parody Account
Well, with Elon Musk cleaning out Twitter and cleaning out all the bots, all the people that when you click like for something and they send you the “hello handsome” text messages and DMs. Well, they are going to be out of a job soon too and to counter that, we have Liz Cheney and Adam Kinzinger who are gainfully unemployed in a couple of months now. They’re going to have to take over and pick up the slack for all these people who don’t have any followers. So, if you click “like” on Trump, watch out. You’re going to get a message from Liz Cheney. (WIN)
Jake
A couple of thoughts on Hannah going out of town tomorrow. You know, she’s developed quite a speaking ability herself with Suzie’s hot topics, she’s very good on her own. She’s been losing weight. She’s looking good. Here’s what I think’s going on. I think she’s been invited down to Orlando to WDBO. I think Josh set it up. She’s going to interview for a radio spot down there in Orlando. If that comes to past, Jay is going to be his new Executive Producer and a new call screener is going to be Suzie, from Middleburg. (WIN)
July Fourth
I think Hillary Clinton right now is tipping off the American people that they’re going to cheat again in this election because she is claiming the Republicans are going to cheat. Is she tipping us off or not? In her own disturbed mind.
G Money
Well, you know the Democrats have been trying to convince us that it’s possible for a man to have a baby and it appears they now have their proof. After DNA testing, it’s been confirmed that John Fetterman is actually the illegitimate child born of a gay relationship between Herman Munster and Uncle Fester. And so, if the DNA testing wasn’t enough, they stuck a lightbulb in his mouth and sure enough, it lit up. So, all you male baby having haters out there you can just shut the hell up. (WIN)
Sully
So, in the Bible, whenever God cast Satan, he didn’t cast Satan to Hell. He banished Satan to the Earth. That’s what’s going on in the planet right now is the fact that we have so much division. So much, if you’re not for every vaccine, you’re against all vaccines. If you’re not for complete abortion, you’re against all abortion. This is just a devising technique to separate people to make each other hate each other. So, whenever God is brought back, which does seem like it’s going to happen, then the Devil will have his huge army ready to either take over or join him in Hell. (WIN)
Scott
Some years ago, a friend of mine got a parking ticket in downtown Columbus, Ohio. He called up the mayor, got the mayor on the phone and said, “Mayor, you said that you were going to hold the Constitution, is that not right?” He said, “Yeah, that’s right. That’s what I’m going to do.” He said, “Well look, article one, section ten of the U.S. Constitution says the states will make nothing payable in care of debt other than gold and silver coins.” And the mayor hung up on him and he never did have to pay. (WIN)
Polar Pop
Alright, so we’re all familiar with technology companies like Microsoft when they put out a product and they update it later, so they just deal with the bugs. So, the theory is that Joe Biden, John Fetterman are actually alien bots and the aliens have not taken the time to debug their systems and update their operating system. So, now we’re seeing all the glitches take place and now even with Katie Parry the other night, now we have another example. So that’s the theory. (WIN)
Mr. Wonderful
Yes, on each car that’s sold now a days, there is a radio station that you can get that has no ads and it’s based in Washington D.C. and it’s tracing your car location wherever you go and knows when you stop and when you go and where you’re at 24 hours a day where your car is. And if you wish to prove this, all you need to do is put aluminum foil over your antenna and they will send you a letter in the mail describing your car and vin number and your address and phone number. (Mark asks “And what does the letter say?) It says that it’s advertisement for the radio which when you put the foil over it, it makes it looks as if you’ve turned off the ability for them to track you. And they want you to get that station so they can track you all the time. (WIN)
Flee Flicker
Alright, it’s well known the Bushes knew the Obamas when he was a child. So, once he got into law and everything, they saw opportunity to set him up for president and now they’ve lost more control of him more or less and couldn’t get Liz Cheney to go back in there and try to help fix it. They pushed her out and she’s out the door now just so they could help prop up China, Iraq, and Russia. So, they have all these people. (WIN)