October 2023 Mark Kaye's Kayetriot's Conspiracy Theories
October 5th, 2023
Python
Ok, well Mark I’m still not sure of exactly what happened with that incident when the F-35 pilot ejected from his plane that was on autopilot. But I do understand that the Marine Corps has now issued a directive that forbids their fighter pilots from including in their in-flight bleeping folders, copies of playboy magazine. (WIN)
Mars Rover Surprise
When Barack Hussein Obama ran for president, public information regarding his life seemed non-existent. Most of his personal information was sealed, hidden, or on recoverable. Millions of dollars were spent to keep the public from these records. Many stipulated he was born in Kenia, Africa and not Hawaii. His life was kept very secret and non-transparent. Why was Barack Hussein Obama’s birth, education, and other biography kept a secret? Was he an illegitimate president as some claim? Well, the answer to this can be found on Mars. NASA’s Perseverance rover that landed successfully on Mars on February 18th, 2021 carried a very special package. This package was all of his historical documents about Barack Hussein Obama and is now somewhere sealed on the Martian surface. (WIN)
MAGA With That Swaga
Well, the deep state in a continuing effort to throw off the American people off their trail are beginning to work on a new name for themself like they do every decade. They’ve been referring to themselves in a period as the political cabal. As they age though they’re less creative so they’ve shortened it down to the P-cabal and ever since they meet at each other’s tennis courts at night they finally switched it to Pickle Ball and then they just created a game around it. (WIN)
Kazz
Roger that. Conspiracy theory number one, and I think you heard this earlier. Obama was not born, and that’s a proven fact. The lady they found out the facts he was not born in the United States and the plane went down and she died too. No information there. Now, my father knew an FBI guy, ok, know my fathers past. I was there in Daddy’s office when the FBI guy told my father that Martin Luther King was assassinated by the FBI. (WIN)
J.R.
I believe that Diane Feinstein died over a year ago and a ventriloquist has been casting her votes.
Luscious Locks
Ok, so a few weeks ago I saw my next-door neighbor. He was getting into this big black limousine and I thought it was a little peculiar. Next thing I know I see my next-door neighbor on C-Span. My next-door neighbor is one of Joe Biden’s body doubles. He goes up north during the summertime down here because it’s real hot, then he comes back down in the winter when it’s warm up there. (WIN)
Tin Foil Skiff
The recent events at court for Hunter Biden proves that he is not undergoing random drug testing and the court is aware of it. Proof of that is that he appeared with a short haircut and clean shaven and people know that hair samples can be taken to test for cocaine for 90 days. We say well maybe he didn’t anticipate that and looking good for the judge, but he’s been going under random samples since July and had hair samples tested before. They would prove to us that he was never found with cocaine in hair samples. So, now he has a clean trimmed face and his hair is short means that he’s getting ready for the next real fake test. (WIN)
A Pimp Named Slickback
A Pimp Named Slickback conspiracy theory is the deep state, the New World Order, wants to control the minds of true conservative talk show hosts. They are reviving MK-Ultra, but doing it in a different manner. Like the great James Marshall Hendricks, instead of ingesting it, they’re taking it through the skin. That is, he is Jimmy Hendricks. So, Mr. Mark Kaye please be careful when you go to salute America because RINO’s like Brian Kilmeade will have on the new MK-Ultra glove that will look like his regular skin and when he shakes your hand mind control may try to take place. A Pimp Named Slickback has spoken. (WIN)
October 12th, 2023
Nikki Haley’s Uncle Bill
Alright see, there’s been a fuss about those black curtains that Nikki Haley has because in fact there is a secret inscription in the back of where is the lost covenant ark of Obama’s phone. That lost covenant ark Obama phone has the actual ability to centralize artificial intelligence and to be able to link through every wireless device in this country to influence every voter to vote the wrong way. So, you don’t want those black curtains to hit the oval room because that is the only way to decipher the inscription. So, primary Trump 2024 and see you later alligator. (WIN)
Foolsball Is Of The Devil
Ok, Jim Jordan should be the obvious choice, but the Republicans are actually scared of him. The original Ohio speaker of the house was such a pushover that the trail of tears had to be changed in the history books to represent Baiters march from his office to the speaker chambers. Jordan is a former wrestler and a buckeye so obviously that talk not when he wants to encourage the members of the house to either put them in a headlock or strongarm them into molding them in the common-sense conservative way. (WIN)
The Only Mostly Dead Voter
The eclipse will happen this Saturday. We have been told to use special glasses to view this event. The government has secretly taken over the manufacturing of these glasses. They have been made to let specific radiation through and amplify, effecting certain nerves that will scramble the brains logic sensor. Biden and the Democrats will now seem to make sense. This is an attempt to swing votes. You will be able to tell people affected because they will start talking like John Fetterman. (WIN)
Flea Dip 24
Our advisories are now using Ronald Regans playbook against us. We have Russia that started a war in Ukraine and we’re sending money and military equipment to them. We have Iran who has started a war in Israel and we’re sending money and military equipment to them. When China starts going into Taiwan, that will be three different fronts that we’re supplying money and military equipment to. Where does that leave this country. It leaves us broke, just like the USSR did in the arms race under Ronald Regan. (WIN)
The Wizard Of Oz
So, as horrible as the attack in Israel was, that was a false flag or dry run for the actual attacks that are going to happen here. Over thirty-eight thousand people that have come across the border in the last month have all been of Middle Eastern dissent. They’ve all been sent to the largest cities, which are Democrat run so they will accept them. Over the next ten to fourteen months, they are going to be the exact same style of attacks that happened in Israel here on American soil and that’s the real attacks that going on. (WIN)
Michael
Ok, it’s kind of similar to the previous two calls, but here I go. I believe that the Chinese are shadow after of the Iranian invasion or support of the invasion of Israel. They feel that eventually the Chinese …. Military will eventually.. will have to be involved to help Israel…… (Buzzed because he couldn’t be heard)
Code Breaker Billy
Mark, let me tell you something. USC Trojans are on the hunt for Alex Grinch. Ever since the Arizona game, he’s been missing. You’ve heard it here first. He’s been hired by the leader of Hamas to handle the descents for their military service. Not sure how it’s going to work out.
Floridiot
Ok, we all know that Obiden can’t handle anything. He’s too senile and the deep state and the White House staff basically are run by Obama. Obama said in his book that if push came to shove that he would side with the Muslims. We have sent like 700 million to Hamas since we pulled out and my father worked for ASA. I cannot believe we did not know the attack was coming and we kept it quiet. (WIN)
Inverted Pyramid
Ok, you say that there’s a possibility that they could manipulate the lottery for Californians to win. Well, I have come up with a theory of how they do it. They pre-weigh the balls and then they weigh the balls after to show there’s no weight differential. But no one’s mentioned anything about the static charge of the opposing and repelling static positive and negative. So, they just turn on the ball machine and it sucks in the balls that has the correct charge on them. It repels all the rest of them. Therefore, they can make it so whoever has it wins it. (WIN)
Marka Hannah
So, basically, it’s like the call a couple of calls ago that the soldiers coming in through the open border. I’ve been hearing for years that the U.S. would use our military to put us on lockdown, but I don’t think our military would do that. But how easy would it be to have other people that hate us come through the border to try to knock us out and that’s it.
October 19th, 2023
P.B. And J.
Ok, my conspiracy is that Hannah will have her baby December the first and take up fashion designing while the baby sleeps, so when she has her down time. After so much fun and enjoying, she will choose to stay home with her baby and pursue a career as a fashion designer. Mark will be supportive and invest in her machinery needed, black and needle threader. Mark will empathize with Hannah and will promote Hannah’s new designs with a special link on the Mark Kaye shop. The Kayetriots will be supportive as well and buy all her new designs and clothes.
Truth Teller
Ok, the year is 1967 and an American ship called the U.S.S. Liberty was attacked by the Israeli navy and air force and 80 American sailors were killed. You can look this up on the internet and Israel was attempting to bring the United States into the war against Egypt at that time and we nearly nuked the city of Kairo under Lyndon B. Johnson. (WIN)
Jiminy Cricket
Have you ever thought about when Hunter Biden was doing all his art and a lot of, nobody knows who bought it. Selling for millions of dollars. Some of our American secrets or intel was underneath that art so it was untraceable.
Junk Man
Ok, I think that the Chinese and the Democrats are holding the Republicans hostage or something and they are being paid to mess up the country because nobody can do that for nothing. Thank you.
The Lioness
Ok, so you know how everybody knows how Joe Biden doesn’t like Israel. He’s not for Israel. He’s just being pushed into it. Well, that person that went to Israel, Joe Biden was told not to go. The person that went to Israel wasn’t Joe Biden, because he’s a coward, and the reason I’m saying he’s not Joe Biden is because if you look at the video of the person speaking in the other country, Israel, he had smooth skin like baby’s butt. There was not a wrinkle. Joe Biden’s head is full of wrinkles. He also had a cleft chin and Joe Biden doesn’t have a cleft chin. He had a double chin and although he sounded like Joe Biden, I think they sent Hunter with the mask like from Mission Impossible so he can go over and get some money for his crime family. Also, Nancy Pelosi and the Democrats are the ones that are calling the Republicans, saying they are the MAGA people and threatening their lives, so they won’t vote for Jim Jordan because they don’t want him in there because he’ll come after them. But the idiots from the Republican side are believing that it’s MAGA people calling and threatening them. (WIN)
Angry Cat Lady
Ok, my theory is that Biden, he knows he’s not going to make it. He knows Trump is going to make it and I think that he’s screwing a bunch of stuff up just because he knows he’s going to leave a mess and he wants President Trump, when of course he gets in, to handle it all. I think he’s doing that; I think he is. (WIN)
Bill Clinton
In 1871 a 33rd degree Mason by the name of Albert Pike wrote a letter to a fellow Free Mason in Italy by the name of Manzini. In the letter it spoke about three world wars to issue in Lucifer as Christ. Basically, this letter was on a wall in a museum in England from 1910 to 1975 and it mysteriously disappeared. Troop movements are already in play, World War 3 is on its way. (WIN)
Big R
Ok, you know how they are trying to diversify the Senate and everything. Well, I have figured out that John Fetterman is actually an Ohio Grass man, which is the Bigfoot, that they shaved down and got him into the Senate just to diversify the Senate of the United States. (WIN)
October 26th, 2023
Jet Blue
Lost connection
Maga With That Swaga
In 2024, if Trump – White loses to Newsome – Buttyjudge, the fair act will be implemented where in WOKV changes to WOKE and Mark Kaye show will remain only if they agree to an AI generated version of the show also to be produced and aired. Now, it’s the Mark Gay show, Lovin it! Your voice will be enhanced for the AI auto-lisp feature and Hannah will be included as the begrudgingly token birthing person. But there is some good news. You will both get raises. Extra checks for this. But the bad news is that you will have to do entire segments worth of sausage talks. (WIN)
The Only Mostly Dead Voter
Hannah should not feel bad. It’s not her fault. The Democrats are broadcasting microwaves at the Mark Kaye Show. All in the effort to destroy Marks cake. They are tired of Mark calling them out on all their destructive policies and behaviors. So, they are trying it ruin his birthday. The cake separation really accelerated when you played the John Fetterman yodel today. What you should have done was create a tin foil hat for the cake especially with the Conspiracy Theory Thursday. They are worried. Keep up the good work and happy birthday. (WIN)
Unknown
I created the crisis and now have the cure and now it’s inflation that will make you all move to a new destination. If you refuse to abide that’s ok because I’ll already infiltrate your lives every day. I plan to wipe out the middle lower class. How you might ask. I will poison all the cheaper goods. I will be in everything from the food you ingest to the toilet paper in which you wipe your beep. So, think of me the next time you grocery shop. Saving that dollar just might make you drop. (WIN)
Jet Blue
Ok, yesterday Joe Biden threatened to draw the red line for Iran. Well, the only line he knows is a white powdery one and the only reason he was seeing red is because he was so mad about Mike Johnson winning Speaker of the House. He knows he won’t be able to get any of his lame duck legislation through. So, of course that makes Joe Biden one of the most dangerous men in the world because he’s going to activate all of his sleeper cells that he’s been ushing over the border for the past two years. So, therefore Joe Biden is the most dangerous man in the world. (WIN)
A Pimp Named Slickback
A Pimp Named Slickback conspiracy theory is this: the Wokes are aligned with Hamas because they don’t stand for anything. They are what they referred to as useful idiots. They have no core principles. So, therefore if you don’t stand for anything, you’ll fall for everything. The new world order and the elites are more concerned about control of people than for what your principles are. What is little known is that inside of the mosque, what is taught is a form of socialism. Therefore, the new world order has instructed those that are of the Woke movement to align with Hamas because they just want to control the people because communism and socialism are akin. So, therefore it is a control of the people that they are reaching for. They don’t care about their Woke agenda. A Pimp Named Slickback has spoken. (WIN)
The Sage
The DNC is using our tax dollars through FEMA and the ad counsel. They target young Hispanic women who can plan a round trip and make an emergency Pit to get the names of the relatives of all the people that they are intentionally letting across the border so that on ballet night, on election night they can make a ballot dump with the help of the legacy media and put whoever they want in office regardless of how many people we vote for and they run the ad about every sixty times an hour. (WIN)
Joe’s Ice Cream Bib
Well, every afternoon that old codger wakes up from his nap, straps me on, dribbles rocky road all over me, and then wads me up and sticks me in his back pocket and I can tell you that aint a peasant place to be. But anyway, Jill refuses to clean me. I have never been washed. I am covered in bacteria, mold, mildew. Joe keeps going on and on about where Covid came from and how to prevent it. Covid came from me because Jill won’t wash me and that’s where I’m coming from. (WIN)